Motherhood is often romanticized as a selfless act of love. But there is a profound difference between choosing to sacrifice for a family and being forced to sacrifice oneself. When the boundaries of support are crossed into the territory of exploitation, the “mom” becomes a resource to be drained rather than a person to be cherished.
The exploited mom lives in a state of chronic hyper-vigilance. Her nervous system is constantly on alert, anticipating the next need, the next mess, the next crisis. Over time, this leads to a phenomenon psychologists call maternal burnout —a state of profound physical, emotional, and mental exhaustion that can lead to depersonalization (feeling like a robot) and a loss of identity.
You must believe that rest is not earned; it is a right. Saying “no” is not an act of aggression; it is an act of survival. Reclaiming 30 minutes of your morning—even if it means letting the dishes sit—is a political act of self-preservation.
The term "exploited mom" may evoke feelings of discomfort, shame, and guilt. However, it's essential to acknowledge that many mothers face exploitation in various forms, and it's crucial to address this issue to create a supportive community.